I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
