Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
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