I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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