Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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