K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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