In the future we'll all be gay
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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