I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
