Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
