dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
