This girl is more easily done than said...
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
