I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
More tranny stories later!
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
