mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
