So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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