We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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