If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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