id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
