And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
it's great music for shaving your balls
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
