We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Princesses don't give blow jobs
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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