A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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