god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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