He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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