This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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