You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
