I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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