I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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