kristin has been a bad kristin
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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