turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize