i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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