I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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