I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I want a musical about memes.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
