Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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