their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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