Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
