Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I have demons in me.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
