So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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