remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
