I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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