He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
