dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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