I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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