Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
one might say we're banned from that church
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
