in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
