called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
So squirting runs in the family.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
