Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
