She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize