I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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