her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
operation have a gay friend backfired
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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