Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
