Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Can Purell be used as lube?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
