and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
