were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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