True but thats because hes a fetus.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
