Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
