Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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