It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
