we're blogging at a bar
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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