Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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