I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
