My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
