Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
