nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
