He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
