STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
