they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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