have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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