DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
