I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
