Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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