i think i have two assholes
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
