are you so shy because you have an std?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
