she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
