do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
